I loved what South African TV presenter & producer Hulisani ‘CC’ Ravele (HR) shared on social media about her experience in this thing called life. Her testimony really touched me and I am encouraged by her strength and faith in God: This is what she wrote:
Where do I start? Well, the truth would work, right?
It’s been just over 4 months since I last laid hands on my keyboard to “pen” an entry on ❤HR and to be honest, it’s not because I’ve been too busy, I just haven’t been inspired to share anything because I don’t think or feel that anything great is happening in my life right now to share. You see, I’m wired to always be on the move and always be working on something that is constantly evolving and challenging me but of late I’ve found myself in a very stagnant space and it’s a space I really do not enjoy nor do I thrive in it.
I’ve found myself in a space where I have to wait. Wait on responses from sponsors about show concepts I’ve pitched, wait on things to happen, wait on a “yes” to come, wait on destiny, wait on God. Waiting. When your career starts at age 9 and you’ve always moved from one project to the next project, to the next project, with very little difficulty, waiting starts to feel like failing.
This was how I felt until I went to church a few weeks ago and I said to God: “I am here today because I need to hear SOMETHING from you! ANYTHING! I don’t feel You near! Where are you!?”
A few days before I went to church I had this song in my head that I had not heard in ages. It was “kuwe, Baba, ngibhek’ithemba lam”.
So, off I went to church, said my prayer about wanting to hear something from God so I would know what I am supposed to do next. I questioned if I was not doing enough and that is why my “yes” had not come yet. I questioned if going after this talk show host vision I have seen so clearly for my life for so many years was in fact just me talking to me and not the destiny and the work I believed I was put on this earth to do. I went to church with a spirit of anger, disappointment, confusion, sadness, numbness even. When is it going to be my turn God? Am I doing and have I done enough? Is there more I should be doing? Are there more sponsors I should be approaching? Are there more calls I should be making?
My answer came during the praise and worship part of that day’s church service. We sang the first song, then the next song, then the one after that, and the one after that. On the last worship song (I can’t remember which song it was), the choir and the band switched it up at the end and sang a different reprise than that of the song they were singing. The song they were singing was an English song but this was the reprise they sang in a soft, peaceful, and complete tone of surrender:
“Kuwe, Baba, ngibhek’ithemba lam.”
And then, in the same tune, they continued with:
“Be still, and know, that I am God.”
In that moment, I cried like a baby! Like hee-hee-hee! In all my questioning and doubt and anxiety and feeling like I’m failing and not doing enough, God just wanted me to do one thing – be still. Or in another word – wait.
So that is where I am at now, in the waiting phase. But I am no longer waiting with all these negative feelings weighing me down every now and then, I am now waiting knowing that I am a person who is always willing to put in the work and ready to adjust her approach to reach the same goal, but, sometimes this here person just needs to sit still and wait.
So that is what I am going to do. Within reason of course, I mean, have you met me!? I cannot sit still nje! LOL! But in my waiting, I know that I am constantly doing what I can to push my shows forward. Whether I’m in a boardroom pitching or continuously sharing my vision and passion with those who ask what do I do and where do I want to go with it.
“For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” – Habakkuk 2 v 3 (KJV)